To read all the new Tests from the Pintester movement. I will read them this afternoon, and comment, I promise!!! This mama has to take a freakin nap. Yeah, I get that it's 10 am, but I get out of work at 7 am and came home and made crepes with multiple fillings and strawberry syrup for 7 children and my house is demolished. It's most definitely bedtime.
Pintester movement
Friday, July 12, 2013
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Permanent Mortification (potty words) *UPDATED*
Ever wrote a message to one of your internet hero's you sound like a TOTAL BOOB in and so you decide NOT TO SEND IT until you GET IT RIGHT and accidentally hit send instead of x and suddenly you see the pop up YOUR MESSAGE HAS BEEN SENT?
Suddenly your heart is beating to fast and your gasping for breath and YOU CAN FEEL YOUR BLOOD VESSELS DILATING IN YOUR FACE WHILE YOU BLUSH FURIOUSLY even though NOBODY CAN SEE YOU because your alone.
It's to late to get that back. That person how has the power to sit at home and be like DAMN LOOK AT THIS BITCH CANT EVEN GET OUT A SENTENCE RIGHT. AND THEN SHARE IT. Fuck.
Permanent mortification.
I did this today. I wanted to send a witty comment in reply to one of my favorite blogs ( http://bitchesgottaeat.blogspot.com/ ). She's hilairous, but one comment in particular cracked me right up, and I wanted to share my thoughts on it. Instead I was all
HI IM LATE TO THE PARTY BUT BLAH BLAH BLAH IM NERVOUS AND RAMBLING AND I LOST MY POINT BECAUSE IM AN IDIOT AND click. I hit the wrong button and *poof*, my idiocy is now immortalized in internet history for eternity and I can. Never. Get. It . Back. Ever.
On the other hand: My daughter double dog dared her brother to eat dirt.
He did it.
Never underestimate the power of the desire to impress your big sister and the ultimate sanctity of the double dog dare.
7/16/13 UPDATE:
SHE TOTALLY WROTE ME BACK. I was totally melting into my chair,(becuase its HOT AS HADES UP IN MY HOUSE) and suddenly had a new FB message. AND it was my internet hero, and she was like DONT BE NERVOUS!
So even though said hero probably got a good giggle out of my idiocy, she was also kind enough to write back and make me feel better. Which was nice.
Suddenly your heart is beating to fast and your gasping for breath and YOU CAN FEEL YOUR BLOOD VESSELS DILATING IN YOUR FACE WHILE YOU BLUSH FURIOUSLY even though NOBODY CAN SEE YOU because your alone.
It's to late to get that back. That person how has the power to sit at home and be like DAMN LOOK AT THIS BITCH CANT EVEN GET OUT A SENTENCE RIGHT. AND THEN SHARE IT. Fuck.
Permanent mortification.
I did this today. I wanted to send a witty comment in reply to one of my favorite blogs ( http://bitchesgottaeat.blogspot.com/ ). She's hilairous, but one comment in particular cracked me right up, and I wanted to share my thoughts on it. Instead I was all
HI IM LATE TO THE PARTY BUT BLAH BLAH BLAH IM NERVOUS AND RAMBLING AND I LOST MY POINT BECAUSE IM AN IDIOT AND click. I hit the wrong button and *poof*, my idiocy is now immortalized in internet history for eternity and I can. Never. Get. It . Back. Ever.
On the other hand: My daughter double dog dared her brother to eat dirt.
He did it.
Never underestimate the power of the desire to impress your big sister and the ultimate sanctity of the double dog dare.
7/16/13 UPDATE:
SHE TOTALLY WROTE ME BACK. I was totally melting into my chair,(becuase its HOT AS HADES UP IN MY HOUSE) and suddenly had a new FB message. AND it was my internet hero, and she was like DONT BE NERVOUS!
So even though said hero probably got a good giggle out of my idiocy, she was also kind enough to write back and make me feel better. Which was nice.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Pintest re-deaux: SummertimeSplashy Nails (potty words ahead!)
As mentioned in the previous post, I signed up to participate in the Pintester movement 2.0. ( read more info here: http://pintester.com/
I also asked for assistance in choosing a pin. There's a lot of stuff over there on Pintester to play with, and I get overwhelmed easily. Kate suggested we get together and do the following pin test: http://pintester.com/2012/05/summertime-splashy-nails/ .
I am not a girly girl. I don't do my nails, do my hair, do my makeup. I wear yoga pants and tshirts everywhere I go. So I said, " What the hell?" As in "Are you effing serious?!" and followed it up with " Why not?" The original pin appears to be here: http://pinterest.com/pin/44965696249838931/ .
Unfortunately, the original blog http://www.beautylish.com/photos no longer has the photo of the pin we are playing with today. BUT we forged ahead, in the spirit of " We are going to fake it till we make it and hope it works" Kinda like my cooking. ( Like I made chicken in my mom's crock pot today and my teenager told me it was dry. How the hell does that happen? I think he was confused, because that shit was GOOD and moist. )
Sonja posted the directions she found, which made it infinitely easier, because I look at this shit and am like what the fuck does she have on her hands? Kate, on the other hand, is a home painting nail pro and does this shit for fun. The directions are as follows: ( BTW You'd know this if you looked at the link above, but I'll share them anyway)
Directions:
1. White Base Color
2. Place small dots of colored polish in corner of nail.
3. Spread colored polish dots outward with a toothpick.
4. Apply topcoat.
5. Voila!
Looks pretty. Kinda firework-y and summery. Not something I personally would want to wear into public, but what the hell. My daughter might get a thrill out of it.
First, we assembled the cast of characters. ( Mind you, its like 10 am at this point, I had just gotten out of work a couple hours prior and was TIRED. )
Kate is going to use the striper nail polish thing on her nails, and I'm just going to paint mine.
I also asked for assistance in choosing a pin. There's a lot of stuff over there on Pintester to play with, and I get overwhelmed easily. Kate suggested we get together and do the following pin test: http://pintester.com/2012/05/summertime-splashy-nails/ .
I am not a girly girl. I don't do my nails, do my hair, do my makeup. I wear yoga pants and tshirts everywhere I go. So I said, " What the hell?" As in "Are you effing serious?!" and followed it up with " Why not?" The original pin appears to be here: http://pinterest.com/pin/44965696249838931/ .
Unfortunately, the original blog http://www.beautylish.com/photos no longer has the photo of the pin we are playing with today. BUT we forged ahead, in the spirit of " We are going to fake it till we make it and hope it works" Kinda like my cooking. ( Like I made chicken in my mom's crock pot today and my teenager told me it was dry. How the hell does that happen? I think he was confused, because that shit was GOOD and moist. )
Sonja posted the directions she found, which made it infinitely easier, because I look at this shit and am like what the fuck does she have on her hands? Kate, on the other hand, is a home painting nail pro and does this shit for fun. The directions are as follows: ( BTW You'd know this if you looked at the link above, but I'll share them anyway)
Directions:
1. White Base Color
2. Place small dots of colored polish in corner of nail.
3. Spread colored polish dots outward with a toothpick.
4. Apply topcoat.
5. Voila!
First, we assembled the cast of characters. ( Mind you, its like 10 am at this point, I had just gotten out of work a couple hours prior and was TIRED. )
Kate is going to use the striper nail polish thing on her nails, and I'm just going to paint mine.
So far, so good! Right? Right!
WTF. This does not look like the pictures.
Still, not like the pictures.
All in all, I'm wearing it around town because my daughter thinks I look like " super pretty mom!"
And its not the worst thing I've ever done. Way, WAY more work than it's worth to paint your nails.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Pintester and her movements.....
Tee hee hee! Take that, Pintester! A poop joke ( har har har) in the title. I am so amused with myself, I don't have words.
Okay thats a lie. I have lots of words.
Okay to get to the point. I signed up to recreate a pin the pintester has already tested. If you don't know who the Pintester is, you are seriously missing a huge piece of internet hilarity. She's one of my favorite bloggers, and when she writes back to me on twitter, I get a little thrill. Simple minds. Dont ask. ANYWAY.
I need help. I don't which pin to test!
http://pintester.com/2013/06/the-pintester-movement-v-2-0/
Here is her post detailing the rules.
http://pintester.com/ is her blog. Go there. Review her stuff. Help me decide what I should do, bearing in mind my rules.
A) I'm broke.
B) I'm fat. I refuse to appear on camera. Therefore, nothing I appear in will appear on this blog until I lose the 60 pounds
C) I work full time and have an army of children so short and to the point. Baking is okay. Days long projects are not okay.
I'm looking forward to your ideas and suggestions, and we all know I need them.
Thanks!
Okay thats a lie. I have lots of words.
Okay to get to the point. I signed up to recreate a pin the pintester has already tested. If you don't know who the Pintester is, you are seriously missing a huge piece of internet hilarity. She's one of my favorite bloggers, and when she writes back to me on twitter, I get a little thrill. Simple minds. Dont ask. ANYWAY.
I need help. I don't which pin to test!
http://pintester.com/2013/06/the-pintester-movement-v-2-0/
Here is her post detailing the rules.
http://pintester.com/ is her blog. Go there. Review her stuff. Help me decide what I should do, bearing in mind my rules.
A) I'm broke.
B) I'm fat. I refuse to appear on camera. Therefore, nothing I appear in will appear on this blog until I lose the 60 pounds
C) I work full time and have an army of children so short and to the point. Baking is okay. Days long projects are not okay.
I'm looking forward to your ideas and suggestions, and we all know I need them.
Thanks!
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Customer Service 101 ( adult language)
My planned post is going to have to come up tomorrow. The cashier at Wal-mart pissed me off today. Here's a few lessons I've learned in my many years of customer service. And believe me when I tell you I am pro. You will never ever know how much of a tool I think you are when I am on the phone with your, or face to face.
If you are going to be a cashier at Walmart, no matter how shitty you think your job is, guaranteed your customer's don't want to be in your store either.
Nobody likes Walmart. Nobody.
1:Don't stand there with your arms crossed and a fuck the world expression on your face.
It just makes your customers even ruder because you give the impression of being a total douche-bucket.
2: Fake it till you make it sister. Smile and think all the rude thoughts you want, but don't let that shit show on your face.
3: When you are pleasant and smile, your customers are pleasant and smile.
4: Own your shit.
You work in a shitty store. Get over it. Clean your register up. Don't expect people to be nice when you are checking out their veggies on a filthy belt covered in your snot.
5: DON'T BE A DICK. I cannot reiterate this enough. Smile and nod and wish them a happy day and GET THE FUCK OVER YOUR BUTTHURT SELF.
6: At the end of the longest day of your life, you have to live inside your head. Is it a happy place? Are you happy with who you present to the world?
7: Empathy counts, people. I'm not saying take someone's pain and make it your own, I'm saying feel sympathy for the dickwad that just came through your line because maybe he's buying those depends for his demented grandmother who doesn't recognize him and accused him of some atrocious behavior when all he's doing is trying to take care of her and so maybe he's so stressed and miserable and hurting he can't see he's being a dickwad. Customer service isn't about YOU, hooker, its about YOUR CUSTOMER. Save your shit for the end of the day. Fuck.
If you are going to be a cashier at Walmart, no matter how shitty you think your job is, guaranteed your customer's don't want to be in your store either.
Nobody likes Walmart. Nobody.
1:Don't stand there with your arms crossed and a fuck the world expression on your face.
It just makes your customers even ruder because you give the impression of being a total douche-bucket.
2: Fake it till you make it sister. Smile and think all the rude thoughts you want, but don't let that shit show on your face.
3: When you are pleasant and smile, your customers are pleasant and smile.
4: Own your shit.
You work in a shitty store. Get over it. Clean your register up. Don't expect people to be nice when you are checking out their veggies on a filthy belt covered in your snot.
5: DON'T BE A DICK. I cannot reiterate this enough. Smile and nod and wish them a happy day and GET THE FUCK OVER YOUR BUTTHURT SELF.
6: At the end of the longest day of your life, you have to live inside your head. Is it a happy place? Are you happy with who you present to the world?
7: Empathy counts, people. I'm not saying take someone's pain and make it your own, I'm saying feel sympathy for the dickwad that just came through your line because maybe he's buying those depends for his demented grandmother who doesn't recognize him and accused him of some atrocious behavior when all he's doing is trying to take care of her and so maybe he's so stressed and miserable and hurting he can't see he's being a dickwad. Customer service isn't about YOU, hooker, its about YOUR CUSTOMER. Save your shit for the end of the day. Fuck.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping.
And suddenly, it's the future. My almost 14 year old had his first paid babysitting job today. How is that even possible?! He was just a baby yesterday! Now, he's taller than me, with facial hair and a grown man's voice. Breaks this mama's heart.
I remember when he was first born, he was the most beautiful baby I'd ever laid eyes on. As he grew, he was incredibly affectionate and loving. Now he's a teenager with a mohawk and most days I just sort of want to dig into his brain and figure out what the hell he is thinking. I don't remember being closemouthed as a teenager. In fact, anybody that knew me then will tell you I was not shy about voicing my opinions, with considerably less tact than I have now. If I thought it, felt it, feared it, wanted it, it was coming out of my mouth for the world to know about it, and to hell with what anybody thought about it! Now, of course, I learned how to be a bit more diplomatic and tactful. I still think it all, I just don't always say it all.
I'm to busy tonight to write a really long post, even though I have lots to say, so here is a picture.
I remember when he was first born, he was the most beautiful baby I'd ever laid eyes on. As he grew, he was incredibly affectionate and loving. Now he's a teenager with a mohawk and most days I just sort of want to dig into his brain and figure out what the hell he is thinking. I don't remember being closemouthed as a teenager. In fact, anybody that knew me then will tell you I was not shy about voicing my opinions, with considerably less tact than I have now. If I thought it, felt it, feared it, wanted it, it was coming out of my mouth for the world to know about it, and to hell with what anybody thought about it! Now, of course, I learned how to be a bit more diplomatic and tactful. I still think it all, I just don't always say it all.
I'm to busy tonight to write a really long post, even though I have lots to say, so here is a picture.
He loves his brothers.
Weddings and Life and Anxiety, oh my!(adult language. lots of potty words.)
SFWG Here with a couple confessions:
First of all: I'm a shitty blogger. I admit it. I think about shit to post every day, but don't often make the time to actually sit my fat ass down and write it out. I'm sorry for that. I'm working on it. I'd promise to do better but I don't make promises I can't keep, and I can't promise to keep that one.
Life is perennially busy. ( Is that grammatically correct? Perennial = permanent? ) My stepson was home for two weeks, and life was total chaos and I loved it. Then he went to his mom's house, and my other two littles went to their dad's house for two weeks. My oldest son's father's family has suddenly decided since his father has another kiddo ( who is super cute, by the way), they regret missing all the time they could have had with my son, and oh can he come to the family reunion! What the hell? I left it up to my son, and he wants to go to see his little brother but says everybody else he can do without. I don't blame him.
I'm pretty bitter about it and trying to pretend I'm not.
My boyfriend finally agreed to actually marry me and not just give me lip service. It's only been 5 years so I think its about time. Now I'm all wound up about dresses ( 60 pounds to lose, fuckers, 60 fucking pounds. Holy shit) and receptions and playlists and dinners and I'm poor so my wedding wont be as fancy as my beautiful sisters was and she's having her first baby in August and when should we schedule the wedding and should we just go to the courthouse and have an actual wedding wedding after i dump the 60 fucking pounds and can actually fit into a dress and look pretty or just say fuck it and who the hell would come since all our friends are scattered across the country and who the hell wants to come to the UP and do you SEE WHAT I'M DEALING WITH HERE?!
I can't handle it. I think we'll just go to the courthouse and not tell anybody.
Also: I forgot what else I was going to write. I can't blame in on the wine, sadly, as I'm not drinking. I'm just a space cadet.
As always, comments and opinions are welcome, just keep it respectful.
First of all: I'm a shitty blogger. I admit it. I think about shit to post every day, but don't often make the time to actually sit my fat ass down and write it out. I'm sorry for that. I'm working on it. I'd promise to do better but I don't make promises I can't keep, and I can't promise to keep that one.
Life is perennially busy. ( Is that grammatically correct? Perennial = permanent? ) My stepson was home for two weeks, and life was total chaos and I loved it. Then he went to his mom's house, and my other two littles went to their dad's house for two weeks. My oldest son's father's family has suddenly decided since his father has another kiddo ( who is super cute, by the way), they regret missing all the time they could have had with my son, and oh can he come to the family reunion! What the hell? I left it up to my son, and he wants to go to see his little brother but says everybody else he can do without. I don't blame him.
I'm pretty bitter about it and trying to pretend I'm not.
My boyfriend finally agreed to actually marry me and not just give me lip service. It's only been 5 years so I think its about time. Now I'm all wound up about dresses ( 60 pounds to lose, fuckers, 60 fucking pounds. Holy shit) and receptions and playlists and dinners and I'm poor so my wedding wont be as fancy as my beautiful sisters was and she's having her first baby in August and when should we schedule the wedding and should we just go to the courthouse and have an actual wedding wedding after i dump the 60 fucking pounds and can actually fit into a dress and look pretty or just say fuck it and who the hell would come since all our friends are scattered across the country and who the hell wants to come to the UP and do you SEE WHAT I'M DEALING WITH HERE?!
I can't handle it. I think we'll just go to the courthouse and not tell anybody.
Also: I forgot what else I was going to write. I can't blame in on the wine, sadly, as I'm not drinking. I'm just a space cadet.
As always, comments and opinions are welcome, just keep it respectful.
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