When it rains, it pours, as the adage goes- and 10 days in 2021 is not shaping up to be a huge improvement over 2020.
Nationwide, 2020 brought us the coronavirus, it brought us a spotlight to shine on the systemic racism so inherent in our justice system, it brought a spotlight to the corruption in our government- and those are only the things I can remember off the top of my head.
It also brought death to the lives of my children in a lot of ways. My kids lost one of their grandparents, often the only stable footing they had at their father's house. It brought death to some of their innocence, as they witnessed their father's drug use and subsequent jail time. Hopefully, he's able to get sober, get clean, and stay that way for a while. We'll see. He's never managed it before for a long period of time so hopefully this long jail sentence makes a difference.
It brought new mental illnesses, exacerbated old ones, and maybe lupus to me. These are gifts I could have done without, but I'm counting on the strength I've learned to help carry me through.
2020 brought me a grandchild, although he won't be here until this spring, and a new daughter (inlaw). Her 2021 hasn't started out so hot either - her mom also has some substance abuse issues and is in rehab, and she found her great-uncles body a few days ago. This pregnancy has not been easy on her at all, although she still says she wants at least two more. She's braver than I am, that's for sure. There are 5 years between my oldest kids for a reason.
I left Ashford to move to a school with a more dedicated program aligning with my long term goals than Ashford could provide, and so far, that's gone well. I started classes at SNHU this last week, and I managed to get my work done and work an 80 hour week.
I'm exhausted.
