Sunday, June 30, 2013

Customer Service 101 ( adult language)

My planned post is going to have to come up tomorrow. The cashier at Wal-mart pissed me off today. Here's a few lessons I've learned in my many years of customer service. And believe me when I tell  you I am pro. You will never ever know how much of a tool I think you are when I am on the phone with your, or face to face.


If you are going to be a cashier at Walmart, no matter how shitty you think your job is, guaranteed your customer's don't want to be in your store either.
Nobody likes Walmart. Nobody.
1:Don't stand there with your arms crossed and a fuck the world expression on your face.

 It just makes your customers even ruder because you give the impression of being a total douche-bucket.

2: Fake it till you make it sister. Smile and think all the rude thoughts you want, but don't let that shit show on your face.

3: When you are pleasant and smile, your customers are pleasant and smile.

4: Own your shit.

You work in a shitty store. Get over it. Clean your register up. Don't expect people to be nice when you are checking out their veggies  on a filthy belt covered in your snot.

5: DON'T BE A DICK. I cannot reiterate this enough.  Smile and nod and wish them a happy day and GET THE FUCK OVER YOUR BUTTHURT SELF.

6: At the end of the longest day of your life, you have to live inside your head. Is it a happy place? Are you happy with who you present to the world?


7: Empathy counts, people. I'm not saying take someone's pain and make it your own, I'm saying feel sympathy for the dickwad that just came through your line because maybe he's buying those depends for his demented grandmother who doesn't recognize him and accused him of some atrocious behavior when all he's doing is trying to take care of her and so maybe he's so stressed and miserable and hurting he can't see he's being a dickwad. Customer service isn't about YOU, hooker, its about YOUR CUSTOMER.  Save your shit for the end of the day. Fuck.