We all know I'm a sucker. That's not news. I get sucked into anything having to do with any person or animal in pain or lost or homeless. This time, I bit off way more than I can chew and believe me, I am regretting every fucking second of it.
About a month ago, a friend of mine posted on Facebook "Is anyone available to watch my dogs?". I messaged her to ask what was up, as she has three gorgeous dogs and a nice house the next little 'burb over, and why did she need someone to puppy sit? She tells me "Oh we bought a house a couple hours out but until the financing comes through we are stuck in this no pet temp rental!" ( do you see where this is going?! Open mouth, insert foot, and the whole damn leg). I said "Oh, I can watch them for you! I have a zoo already so what's three more dogs?" At the time, my kids were still home, and I had help. I was stupidly under the impression it would only be a couple of weeks.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I'll tell you what it is. It's a lesson in fucking insanity, that's what. It's a lesson in "How do you get the dog shit off the brand new couch?" and "How do you get the piss smell out from under the laminate floors?" and "What the fuck are you eating now?!" as you chase after the puppy trailing diarrhea behind them like a kite. It's never having a full roll of not shredded toilet paper again, because they don't stay out of anything and are fucking ninja monkeys who get on your table and shelves.
It's having to hunt for the cats who are so aggravated with the dogs they'd rather be outside and never come back.
It's never leaving a box of cereal on the table again because these dogs have no fucking manners.
It's also having to tell your peanut that your friend's dog killed one of her rabbits.
Yes, you read that right. One of these dogs killed one of my kid's rabbit. The other one is now so sad and lonely he actually lets me hold and pet him, and Milo hates me. I can't fully blame the dog, as it's A) a puppy, and B) a dog with a strong hunting instinct. I blame myself for not recognizing this and making sure at bedtime the rabbits are safe and secure in their hutch with the door closed, rather than free roaming in the pen they can get out of. Thank goodness the guinea pigs are safe in their house!
My friend, of course, feels terrible, and is mortified at how naughty her dogs really are. She offered to buy us another bunny, even though it's not the same, and cried just as hard as I did. But see, when the dogs were with her, there was someone home with them all the time. This mama works full time, and my kids are gone all summer. I'm not home during the day. And when I am home? I'm still working. I'm in school full time (and still rocking a 4.0). So there's been a rough adjustment period. Two of the dogs are puppies, 3 months old, and not fully potty trained, and just like a toddler, when you change their environment, potty cues go out the window. It's a piss on everything free for all. Today I walked in the house and actually started retching. The cereal box incident occurred today, and was accompanied by explosive watery poops. Everywhere. Nothing was spared. I have been home from work for just about 3 hours now, and finally finished scrubbing the downstairs. I'm a little terrified to go upstairs and see what the rest of the house looks like.
She told me today it looks like they'll be in their house the first week of August. I'm not sure we'll survive that long.
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